Tomorrow is Christmas Day. We will have a final Christmas Cat tomorrow, but I feel that it’s as good a time as any to remind you of a story. A story we probably all know too well. This is the story that we performed every year as children (I played the glockenspiel in mine!), made posters and models of, and whether you believe in the religious aspects of Christmas or not, it’s still kind of a fun story.
ONCE UPON A TIME, several thousand years ago in a place called Nazareth, Mary was engaged to Joseph.
He was a carpenter, which is cool.
One night though, Mary was visited by an ANGEL. This angel told Mary that she was going to have a baby. GOD’S BABY. Yeah. It’s complicated.
Mary and Joseph got married.
They decided they wanted to have the baby in Bethlehem, because…well, they just felt like it. So they travelled there BY DONKEY (ignore the fact that this picture is a horse).
BUT BETHLEHEM WAS FULL. They didn’t have a place to stay, and they didn’t have internet in those days, so they couldn’t check TripAdvisor and find somewhere good. They were turned away from INN AFTER INN AFTER INN. But Mary was super tired and super pregnant, so they needed to find somewhere soon…
…at last! A friendly innkeeper had a suggestion – he had a STABLE out back where he kept his animals. So they stayed there.
And then MARY GAVE BIRTH TO A TINY BABY…KITTEN. Called JESUS.
At this time, some shepherds were tending their field and saw a light in the sky. IT WAS THE ANGEL AGAIN. He told them about the baby, so they went to visit him.
But then, somewhere ELSE, three wise men noticed a new STAR in the sky. A SUPER BRIGHT AND FANCY STAR. (just imagine the bauble is a star, okay?).
And then these three wise men decided to go visit the baby too. SO they go to King Herod and are like “IS THE BABY HERE? THE NEW KING?” and he’s like “BABY? THIS BABY IS NOT COOL. I AM COOL. I AM THE KING.” and then he thinks about it and he’s like “I MUST ELIMINATE THIS BABY. BRING HIM TO ME SO I CAN SILENCE HIM.” Except he doesn’t say the part about killing the baby, because he figured that would be a bit of a deal breaker with the wise men.
So they went to the baby and they brought GIFTS**…GOLD.
FRANKINCENSE (just imagine that this box is frankincense)…
AND PURR.
Get it? PURR. BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE MYRRH. GOLD, FRANKINCENSE AND PURR…nevermind…
And then that night ANOTHER ANGEL (there were lots, apparently) visited the wise men in a dream (these angels also like to infiltrate dreams) and told them about King Herod’s EVIL PLAN. And so they didn’t bring him to the King, and EVERYTHING WAS COOL.
The end. TIME FOR A NAP.
HAPPY CHRISTMAS AND THINGS.
GRH 